on being brave {or lack thereof}

oh, sweets, it's time for a more serious post . . .

i know these don't surface too often,

but reading this post made me think that maybe opening up

a little to this small blogosphere community

may be a step in the right direction for me.

over the last month and half,

i've been battling against some odd health issues,

lots of fear and just feeling plain overwhelmed.

right before i went to nashville,

i had a bunch of unhappy but necessary dental work completed . . .

while i was on my vacation visiting mr. wonderful,

i began to have a great deal of jaw discomfort, stiffness and tooth pain.

once back at home, i went back to my dentist

{who i've been seeing since i was a kiddo and is incredibly good at what he does}

who couldn't find much wrong other than the need for a bite adjustment.

suspicion: night time clenching and grinding.

okay, fine.

the clincher- while i didn't have an abscess, he suspected i'd irritated my gums

near one tooth by all of my night time tension.

if pain didn't go away, i might need a root canal.

WHAT???????

well, after a short freak out, my pain while chomping went away and my

teeth began to feel normal again . . .

except the pain in my face.

since that time, i've had frequent bouts of pain

on the right side of my face,

especially in my sinuses, ears and cheekbone.

a visit to my doctor a week ago yielded antibiotics and a diagnosis of

a sinus infection.

if i didn't get any relief, the nurse practitioner said, i'd need a cat scan.

WHAT??????

now i'm done my antibiotics and my facial pain is no better.

i am so discouraged- i just want to feel better again.

i am incredibly afraid of the debt from all the tests and procedures

mentioned by everyone who looks at me.

i've been working so hard to get OUT of debt . . .

all this would be a crippling set-back.

not to mention, i've always been pretty healthy,

but a frightening ER visit last winter for some female issues

and losing my grammie to a sudden and unexpected diagnosis of leukemia

has made me incredibly gun-shy and, quite frankly, paranoid.

i need lots of prayer right now,

and i'm asking you {as such friendly readers} to help a girl out.

for healing, relief from pain, for bravery, clarity and good decision-making,

financial provision and peace when i go to sleep at night

and trust that my God holds me in the palm of His mighty hand.